omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
