The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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