hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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