okay pat passed out under dana's car
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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