I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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