Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
