I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
