Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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