Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
