She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
