Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
