addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
