it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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