hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
