I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
