yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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