never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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