'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
