Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
