hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
