I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
