too bad you live with your parents still
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
