The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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