is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
