you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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