this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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