I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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