At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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