He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
