I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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