She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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