Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
