I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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