Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
