drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
