Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
