I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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