This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
