We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
