whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
