One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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