Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
