think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
