I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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