I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
