You're completely useless in the revolution.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
