Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
