Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
