Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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