i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
