Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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