Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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